i'm really grateful to know i'm not alone on this. i've really been struggling with this feeling lately. i know it's the fact that i miss the idea of him. it's all stemming from me trying to figure out who i am, what i like and what i want, as a person separate from my relationships.

and i don't know who i am. i feel so lost and i get these sudden memories and thoughts i don't know how to react to.. this is all so overwhelming. i have the sudden urge to message him after all these years to find out how he's doing, but i don't want to go back into that cycle.

i miss my ex's family too.. they were nice despite their flaws. made me feel loved. i'm just wondering whether these kinds of memories are due to the trauma of the ab*se or whether this is just normal. idk i have a hard time getting over these kinds of memories cause i wonder whether things would be different if we tried again now.

i remember when i first went to scotland to visit my then boyfriend who i'd dated long distance for almost two years. we were both so tired of traveling to edinburgh, and after arriving at the hotel and showering away the sweat from the humid, hot weather, we made chicken flavored super noodles in the teacups provided by the hotel. we just wanted food, quick. everything was closed by then. we boiled water with the provided kettle and ate the noodles from these tiny teacups in the middle of the night with the window open, laughing at how absurd it was.

i was reminded by this when i now, back in finland and single with many years passed, made some really cheap chicken noodles. the scent was the same. i miss that moment with him so much, but i hate the person he became after those first few years of dating. i stayed thinking i'd get back the guy i fell in love with eventually, but he changed so drastically i didn't even recognize him during our last few months of dating. i still miss him even though after this incident he started being incredibly emotionally and verbally ab*sive towards me.

does anyone else have these moments? miss something like this? the idea of a person all of a sudden? things that remind you of them or moments you used to share? i hate that i miss him, or the idea of him.

i sadly agree with this.. i'm currently badly depressed and going through my emotions and having medication as a little boost definitely helps. i don't wish this on anyone, i hope she decides to get help

ily

› Gosupertora

i'm sorry for my incompetence, of course he did

oh my god i finally realized today's the day of his death and this post is commemorating it

and not claiming he died TODAY IN 2023

god i'm so stupid

gIRL

HE'S BEEN GONE

wtf is this post xDDD

Im sorry d:

okay sorry but who,, am i missing something

nope, too scared they'd get hurt

wardrobe challenge,, idk i'm depressed

so pretty

orange cat supremacy

i love the mrnmau

was this written with predictive text?

OMG BABE WTF you're so nice