6. June 2023 11:42

Dear diary. The smell is still stuck in my nose.

The other day I got an answer to what the disgusting smell that has been in Norway for the past weeks was. Johannisen (and Marteminaa) told me that it's actually this girl, Tyskie, that caused the smell. And the worst part? She doesn't even live in Norway, so the smell has infiltrated all of Scandinavia..

So I took the problem in my own hands. When Tyskie was going to the store last night, to buy some pickled herring (which smells like roses in Tyskie's presence), everyone left the store - as they always do. With a protective suit, I sneaked up on her, grabbed her waist and threw her over my shoulder. She didn't even fight back; maybe because no one ever wants to come near her because of the smell - it seemed like she had missed human contact. No one around helped her either, since they had to pinch their nose, and were too busy throwing up in the bushes.

When I came home, I placed her in a tiny room and undressed her so that the clothes wouldn't hold back the smell. When she started sweating, because of the heat in the room, I collected the sweat in a pipette, covered a cloth with it, and tied it over her mouth. Since the smell had started to burn holes in my protective suit, I had to change it, and by the time I came back - Tyskie was already dead; killed by her own smell.

I carried her dead, smelly body to the lab in my basement. After dismembering her body, I used the rest of the sweat, the bone marrow, her blood, the stomach acid and the cerebrospinal fluid (brain fluid) to make the most powerful poison of all time. Now I can kill a bunch of people, using Tyskie's body fluid. This makes my life so much easier

Let's just hope the smell leaves my nose, and my house, soon.

A nose pinch from,

20. May 2023 00:07

Dear diary. I have company now.

I was supposed to commit a murder yesterday. I went undercover as a nurse, and my main goal was to kill Freudine. But the thing is, I didn't manage to do the job. I think I've gotten too emotionally attached to her. So I chose to drug her down, carry her home to my place, and now she's sitting like a zombie in my rocking chair. I'll make sure to inject the drug on a daily basis, so that she can't leave, move, speak or do anything herself. Isn't that perfect? Now I'll have company forever, and she can't call the police on me. I can even be completely honest with her also, since she can't speak or even react to it. Ahhh, life is great!

A satisfied smirk from,

29. March 2023 02:57

Dear diary. Here is my list, as promised.

This is how I would kill my friends, based on the personal information they left in my guest book. I can't wait until the rest of them writes in it

♡ Punkgirl: I would make her own cat eat her, while I stand over her pronouncing her name as two seperate words.
♡ Fergie: I would burn down her bakery, then steal her cat (she has confessed that she can't live without her cat and I'm gonna fake her cat's death).
♡ Blaiz: This one is tricky. She's a smart one. "What is something that you cannot live without" I asked her. Her answer was: food and water. So I guess I'll just have to starve her to death.
♡ Void Stiles: I would threaten to kill his wife, Hellcat. Then I would make him beg me to spare her life, so that he'd have to repeat himself (which he hates). After I've killed Hellcat (description below), he would eventually follow his wife into death.
♡ Scorpiovenus: I would walk in front of her, when she's in a hurry, just to *** her off at first. Then I'd turn around and stab her with her own drawing pencil.
♡ Elijah: I would rip off the heads of every MH doll they own (which would be quite painful for them). The heartbreak would eventually result in death. I would give them a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye (I'm a gentle-lady).
♡ One Direction 15: It's hard to imagine her death, actually. But I've figured out the best way. One of her main goal in life is to bungee jump.. and the elastic might be cut half-way through! But that murder will happen when we're elderly women, as I believe the sudden death would be better than a slow, painful one.
♡ Seiko: I would tie her up, place her in a dark room and then turn on a hundred vacuum cleaners in the same room. Eventually her ears will start to bleed and she'll die of anemia.
♡ Tilda: Since she works at an airport, I would just wait for her to jump on the next plane. As some of my friends might know, I have a fear of flying (extreme version), so the probabilty of her dying is high from my point of view.
♡ Hellcat: I'm not really sure if killing her even is possible. She is an god, and would probably just heal herself or something. But I guess I would try beating her with her cat?
♡ M e l i s : Me and Melis are quite similar, I've discovered. Therefore, I think she deserves an iconic death. I would hire Selena Gomez to murder her, after performing a private performance for us (this sounded better in my head; edit: consert).
♡ Catra.: I would join her on her trip to visit vulcano erupt, and then push her in the lava. I might risk my own life here, so I need to plan the whole thing into details.
♡ Designerdollz: I would pay my friend, Bob, to create a reverse allergy shot, which makes Designerdollz allergic to cats. I'll insert it in his thigh before Designerdollz leaves for school, knowing it will kick in when a classmate decides (read: is hired) to share an irrelevant story about his aunts goldfish in mathclass.
♡ Alys: I would ask her to join me to watch the thunderstorm, then tape a lightning rod on her jacket. Goodbye AlyzzzZZZzzzzzz. I must admit that it would've been quite hard on me, since i really adore her.
♡ Mimer: I would ask her if she wants to look at the books I have in my basement. I have this glass-room down there, you see. Or should I say glass-cage? Imagine being locked up there without water, food, etc. Ugh, let's not. I would rather die! And so would Mimer.
♡ Naweyn: Since she is a kindergarden teacher, I would give each of the children a lollipop and then ask them to kill her for me. Little John has even agreed to do it for free, since Naweyn took away his play-gun last week. Since I like Naweyn, I would make them play Taylor Swift in her funeral. "Look what you made me do". A song from me to her<3
♡ The fairy godmother: I would pay her neighbour to tickle her to death. The two things she hates the most combined. What a great combo!
♡ Corny: I would make her be the only woman in a room full of men. She will eventually go insane. She might not die, but a lost soul is a lost life - in my opinion.
♡ Re-Rau: Since we're in a band together, I would eventually get tired of sharing the spotlight. I wanna shine all myself. I'd probably strangle her with pizza or something. Imagine getting killed by the thing you love the most. Tragic!
♡ Kamomilla7: I would tangle her necklace while she sleeps, so that she would suffocate. I'd put on some Attack on Titan, just to make her last minutes memorable. I'm not a monster, you know!
♡ Berneice: I would ask her to teach me how to row, in the river near her house. Then, while being in the middle of the river, the boat would accidently capsize..
♡ Ritamaria: I would throw her in a fish tank and watch all the fishes eat her alive.
♡ Forbidden: The boyfriend already agreed on teaching the squirrels commands that would make them kill her. He said he wanted their cat all by himself, since it liked Forbidden more than it liked him.
♡ Renak: I would tell her that I wanted to be her wife. Then, when I was a part of her wife-club, I would kill all of the other wives right in front of her, then tell her that I wouldn't want to be her wife afterall. The hearbreak would do the rest.
♡ Lea 1008: First I would become the murderer in mt, and force her to sus me - so that her meme would be ruined. Then I would simply make her favourite show a reality: heartstopper.
♡ Albertesalli: I think it would happen by accident, actually. She would probably die of period cramps, and I wouldn't have to think about it.... But she doesn't need to worry: I would make lasagna as her last meal and make her really happy.
♡ Jesslyn: She drank coca cola, and now she's lying dead on my floor. I told her coca cola was terrible, she should've listened to me and should've been drinking pepsi max instead. Dw Jess, I'll pour some redbull over your coffin at the funeral<3
♡ Ghighi: I would strangle her with the thing she couldn't live without - her pillow. How ironic. This would be an easy murder, since she described me as "not a mastermind" and refuses to tell me what it is about.
♡ Calcifer: I would knock her out with her crochet club, then stab her 22 times with her knitting needle. Then I would steal her chocolate. BUT, I would feel guilty about it, since Calcifer is such a sweet person. So I'd make Lady Gaga AND Aurora sing in her funeral. You're welcome!
♡ QueenOfHolland: I would make a fake sugardaddy account on instagram, then start a conversation with him, and make him believe that I want him as my sugarbaby. I would marry him (even if we never met, or at least that is what he thinks) and when I kill him by playing really bad music, I will be the one to inherit his money.
♡ Derv: I would steal the last piece of her puzzle, then watch her get really angry. Might not be a smart idea to drive a car while being so furious... especially when you have a history of wrecking cars!
♡ Vaduz: I would make the hunger games real and force her to join it. "Come on, Elisabeth! You can do it. I believe you can win!". Clearly, she will not win. She's told me she's so indecisive, so she will start arguing with herself about where to sleep, who to kill first, etc. It will eventully result in her death.
♡ Slack: I would force her to sit in a room with my father, which chews loudly. Extremely loudly. She would eventually go insane.
♡ Chyza: Since she got the CUTEST dogs ever, I would steal them, and then wait for her to look for them. She's a person who never gives up, so she will not return home before she finds them. Too bad they're hidden well, and that the dark forest I'm making her go through is full of hungry hyenas.
♡ ChaDe: As one of fourteen siblings, I would just encourage her to eat their food in the fridge, then wait for the magic to happen. Also I would set her up on a blind date with her sisters boyfriend, and invite her sister to the same diner. The other siblings let this sister be the one to drown her in their bathtub.
♡ Lucky star: LS is a bartender irl. And what do all bartenders hate? People staying there after closing. So that is what I will do, just to *** her off in the beginning. Then I will take one of the bottles and hit her head with it. After checking if she's really dead, I'll pour her favourite drink (redbull) over her, just to show a little bit of kindness.
♡ Kjellfiskesprell: To be honest, I've a hard time figuring out how to kill her. Why, you my ask. Because it is so many tempting ways. After eliminating 37, I have 2 remaining killing methods which I can't really decide between. The easy way would be just to throw a tomato on her, since she's extremely afraid of them. But I would also like to kill her, inspired by her favourite song "tongue tied". Yeah, you guessed it. I wanna tie her tung up, so that she won't be able to eat for days. Eventually she will die of hunger.
♡ Lokahh: My plan is to invite them to my home. My mom would make them eat with us, and I'll make sure the only available seat is next to my father. Lokahh HATES loud chewing, and my father is an expert on that field. Eventually they will lose her mind, go crazy and try to kill my father. To avoid getting killed himself, he would have to strangle them to death. Well, at least they wouldn't have to listen to loud chewing anymore...
♡ Yours: I met her via a discord group, and to be honest she seem kinda cute. I know she and my wife are close friends, but how close really? Yours has a wife herself, but she may be polyrous... I didn't get that impression, but well - better safe than sorry. So the first thing I will do is kill her wife, Qiaria. Have you ever heard about Romeo and Juliet? Well, the ending would be just the same. Yours would drink the poison because she couldn't stand living without her lover. And if she doesn't do that, it's because she has a crush on my wife, and then I would gladly kill her myself.
♡ Trouwtje: I made her write in my guestbook yesterday. She wrote that she loved WILDFLOWERS the most... and I feel like that really was a methapor for her trying to steal my gold FLOWER. But anyways, here is how I shall do it. First I would make my wife invite her over, making her believe that she got a chance. Then my wife would ask her to wait for her in the bathtub, and OOPS. There has been a drowning accident. So sad!

An exhausted wave from,

30. December 2022 03:00

Used to use this as a diary. The only acceptable reason we didn't get our old accounts back....