♡ styling you

i've never done this type of forum before but i have some time on my hands and would like to try and style you ♡ if you'll let me!

i will charge 100gm but you don't have to accept if you rly don't like it haha
here is a link to my saved looks if you'd like to have a look at outfits i've previously done for myself

https://gosupermodel.com/profiles/saved_looks.jsp?id=19661✧

https://gosupermodel.com/profiles/saved_looks.jsp?id=19661

every time my roommates have people over i have to remind myself that:

- they are not talking about me
- they don't dislike me
- they are not mean
- they are not after me
- they are not dangerous
- they don't care about me
- they don't care what i'm doing

feeling sad cause i wish i was different a lot.
i need days to mentally prepare myself before plans take place, yet my friends ask me spontaneously.
knowing i will say no and feel bad about it cuz now i'm home contemplating if i should just go even though i'm not mentally prepared.

i know if i do this i will have a horrible time overthinking everything and i'll run out of social battery after 1 hour and wanna go home asap.
getting dolled up and taking a 30 minute bus will all be for nothing,
and i'll be regretting that i didn't just stay home like i should've done

i wish i was a fun and social girl who could take things as they come. preparation? what's that? lets go! i'm in! where we meeting?
but i'll never be her, i even tried to be her a couple of times, but guess what?
i hated it every single time. it was never successful and i was humbled every time that this is just not me. i refused to listen and kept trying for years, but i've finally realized there's nothing i can do except accept that i'm not and never will be her.

i'm the introverted kinda girl who needs precise planning. i need to know at least 2-3 days ahead before something happens, i need to know where we're going and what the plan is throughout the evening. i need at least 1 person whom i can feel safe with + have a plan for how to get home if i wanna leave earlier than everyone else.

it's exhausting to live this way, but it's the only way. so unless these criteria aren't there, i will probably stay home and i love staying home more than anything, but it does get lonely sometimes. especially on warm summer nights when everyone is out drinking.

all the leaves are brown
and the sky is gray
i've been for walk
on a winter's day

i'd be safe and warm
if i was in LA
california dreamin'
on such a winter's day

stepped into a church
i passed a long the way
well i got down on my knees
and i pretend to pray
you know the preachers like them cold
he knows i'm gonna stay

california dreamin'
on such a winter's day