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Are you a "FAMILY PERSON"?
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I used to be very family oriented growing up, there was period of time when I even took care of my family and provided for them financially during my late teens into my early 20s. It was a lot to say the least, and honestly, I have felt very unappreciated by them. I am the eldest btw.

What's your family life like? if it's positive please share those too
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My family is a disaster I won't even get into, but I'd say that I turned out fairly family oriented since I've always longed fir normalcy.
My parents have a bad relationship with their parents and like no contact, so "my family" is very small with parents + siblings


i am very independent, and never had that feeling of a love in the family??? like we never hugged or sth. and i never cried when i was away from home as a kid, never understood that. i was always happy to go somewhere else.

but we can rely on each other. i know if i need something, they will help me. vice versa. but neither makes use of that.

sometimes me and my mom almost called daily, sometimes not for weeks.


but one parent says "when you earn good money, you have to provide for us". for years. that gives me some kind of pressure.
I used to be a family person. I still am but not the same as when I was a kid.
There happened some bad stuff in my family so now I chose some people in my family who deserve my love!
My brother and his gf, his 2 sons, my sister and my niece are the ones who get my love ♥ Sadly don't talk to my dad anymore. I cut off contact with my mom and her family but that was my choice
Valkyrja wrote:
My family is a disaster I won't even get into, but I'd say that I turned out fairly family oriented since I've always longed fir normalcy.
Family oriented with your own family or with the family you were born into?

Also wishing you peace with all that's going on, family sh*t can be so draining.
i will always be there and step up for my family if they need me.
but i also tend to be very anti social. and they are not excluded from that.
But i really wish to have a family one day where we are not scared to say "i love you", or hug each other, in general to show love.
TheWeepingAngel wrote:
Family oriented with your own family or with the family you were born into?

Also wishing you peace with all that's going on, family sh*t can be so draining.
I kinda ended up considering my friends family, and now I actually have a partner and two cats which feels the most like family it ever has which is nice. So I guess the one I built for myself

Thank yiu so much
never been one, most likely never will be one, because my family is just too broken and i despise a lot of them. and i also don't want children, so that is out of the picture.
i also really hate interacting with the families of people i date
to put it simply, I hold my family at arms length with the exception of 2 of my cousins, my sisters, and my grandparents.
Patagonia wrote:
My parents have a bad relationship with their parents and like no contact, so "my family" is very small with parents + siblings


i am very independent, and never had that feeling of a love in the family??? like we never hugged or sth. and i never cried when i was away from home as a kid, never understood that. i was always happy to go somewhere else.

but we can rely on each other. i know if i need something, they will help me. vice versa. but neither makes use of that.

sometimes me and my mom almost called daily, sometimes not for weeks.


but one parent says "when you earn good money, you have to provide for us". for years. that gives me some kind of pressure.
Thanks for sharing this, I definitely resonate with this alot, especially the last part with the pressure our parents put on us to 'take care of them" I noticed certain cultures align to this type of ideology.
my family is.... something else
Clear your heart. wrote:
I used to be a family person. I still am but not the same as when I was a kid.
There happened some bad stuff in my family so now I chose some people in my family who deserve my love!
My brother and his gf, his 2 sons, my sister and my niece are the ones who get my love ♥ Sadly don't talk to my dad anymore. I cut off contact with my mom and her family but that was my choice
How did you bring yourself to make that decision? I just think that's so brave and beautiful that you set you own boundaries. It can be so difficult because of perceived obligations
I mean I have a pretty surface level relationship with my family. My parents have been abusive in the past, and I still can't talk to them about anything. Everyone in my family refuses to even try to use the correct pronouns for me, and using my name after I legally changed it took a whole lot of convincing too (my step mom still refuses to use my name, but whatever).
Things are civil when I see them, and I have dinner at my moms 1-2 times a month or so. I see my 10 siblings maybe once a year, sometimes less, and none of them really talks to me when we do see each other because they're quite a lot older than me, so I grew up separately from the rest of the group
TheWeepingAngel wrote:
Thanks for sharing this, I definitely resonate with this alot, especially the last part with the pressure our parents put on us to 'take care of them" I noticed certain cultures align to this type of ideology.
Yeah definitely true that it's more common in some cultures, but I'm actually not part of any of these cultures.

i helped out my parents with money before, but later i got it always back or they helped me with money. but it was never "existentially" like in many other cases.

tbh i don't know how serious they mean it.. i just try to ignore and surpress the thought.
i think it also has sth to do with that i go to university, and my parents are "normal workers" and they expect me to make good money someday
my family has always taken care of me, though emotionally very cold.


Also hiii bingo buddie
little_muffin wrote:
never been one, most likely never will be one, because my family is just too broken and i despise a lot of them. and i also don't want children, so that is out of the picture.
i also really hate interacting with the families of people i date
I don't blame you, when I read "despise" I can only imagine the depths to what you've experienced. I think that knowing yourself enough to know what you want out of life is powerful. Also sending you strength too, and i appreciate you for sharing that.
Ezzithepokerihai wrote:
my family has always taken care of me, though emotionally very cold.


Also hiii bingo buddie
heyyyyyy babe Are you part of a big family?
TheWeepingAngel wrote:
I don't blame you, when I read "despise" I can only imagine the depths to what you've experienced. I think that knowing yourself enough to know what you want out of life is powerful. Also sending you strength too, and i appreciate you for sharing that.
Both sides are a complete mess and I always summarize it as "I need to go to therapy, because there are others that won't" (which is my family).

I hope when I get to be a mom in May, I can make.my child grow up in a safe space, as we already discussed too what types of behaviour of family members we are not gonna allow near our kids. It gives me nightmares though. Already had to cut off the new husband of my mom bc he is an agressive ass and thinks it is normal to smack a kid against the wall with your arm blocking the throat (he did that to my husband when he was 17).

Blerg, family